
I was at a Sisterhood event at my synagogue recently, fanning myself from the heat and sweating like Paula Deen during a butter shortage.
“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” I asked the ladies at my table.
“It is warm in here,” one of the other women said. But she had been bustling around setting up the buffet. Everyone else said the temperature was just fine.
“I think you’re having a hot flash,” one woman said.
Could it be? I’m 52 – a perfect age for flashing. But I always expected to turn the color of an Oompa Loompa – to feel feverish, flustered and more drenched than the stage at a James Brown concert.
But with the exception of my soaked forehead, none of this happened.
Still, these ladies are mostly midlifers who have been through menopause. I figured they knew more than me. So I reconciled that I was officially menopausal and this must be my own unique style: I’m a sweaty forehead flasher.
That’s what I thought … until I participated in a Google Hangout on “Enabling the Change,” sponsored by Replens vaginal moisturizer. The hangout featured five midlife bloggers and Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a reproductive health and menopause expert who has written several books for women, including A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Health and A Woman’s Guide to Menopause and Perimenopause (Yale University Press, 2005). Dr. Minkin is a Clinical Professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences at Yale University School of Medicine and the women’s health advisor to Prevention Magazine.
So how do you tell the difference between hot and flash?
With humor, one of the participants in the hangout compared a hot flash to experiencing the “Big O.” (If you have to ask, you haven’t had one.) As opposed to feeling hot from the outside in, she said a flash feels more like heat radiating from the inside out. The doctor agreed. At which point I determined that I have not yet experienced this rite of passage.
Truth be told, I have a lot of extra padding. I’m always hot. I can work up a sweat flossing.
Temperature has been a bone of contention in my marriage for 21 years. When my family lived in Michigan, even in the dead of winter, during a blizzard, I’d get hot during the night and get up to crack the window. Falling asleep again under my cozy comforter in my cold room, my husband would then wake up shivering and close the window. Shortly thereafter, I’d reawaken warm again and open the window. And this tag team temperature changing ritual repeated itself all night, every night.
The hangout made me realize that I had a false-alarm flash. I had really great time, learning from Dr. Minkin and the other women who participated. I have to say, it’s great to be a woman in the 21st Century, able to talk freely and with humor about topics that were once taboo to my mother’s generation.
Dr. Minkin was a wealth of valuable information. Did you know that smokers have worse hot flashes than nonsmokers? So do overweight women. Do you know the difference between a vaginal moisturizer and a lubricant? And speaking of feminine moisture, did you know that if you don’t “use it” you “lose it?” I learned this and so much more.
The hangout was a dynamic discussion with women at all stages of the “change.” I was the token pre-menopausal participant. I still get my monthly cycle, haven’t had night sweats or experienced dryness anywhere on my body, but my husband and daughter can attest to my serial killer mood swings, I’m tired all the time, have a heck of a time losing a quarter of a pound, my hair has thinned and my monthly cycles are so heavy and crampy that I can barely leave the house. Change is clearly around the corner.
I’m kind of disappointed about my fake-out flash, truth be told. Because at 52, having suffered from infertility for all of my childbearing years, I think it’s God’s cruel joke that, in the past few years I’ve had to sit on a towel in my car for a week out of every month… all for parts that never worked as they were intended.
Wherever you are in your life as a woman, I think you’ll get a lot from this fun and informative discussion. There was a lot of personal sharing, a lot of laughing, and a tremendous amount of useful information from one of the country’s leading menopause experts.
This is a conversation worth a listen! I learned so much and hope you do too!
The opinions expressed in this video are those of the participants and are not those of Church & Dwight Co., Inc.
Replens is the clinically tested, doctor recommended brand of long-lasting vaginal moisturizer. As with dry skin that you experience on your face and hands, regular moisturizing treatment with Replens Long-Lasting vaginal moisturizer may be necessary to prevent dryness from recurring. Replens Long-Lasting vaginal moisturizer is different from most other lotions or lubricants because it contains a patented bio-adhesive ingredient that allows it to attach to dry vaginal cells and deliver continuous moisture for up to three days. Click here to learn more.
What helps you keep a sense of humor when dealing with changes as you get older? Leave a comment below to enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card!
Entry Instructions:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
- Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
- Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: #SweepstakesEntry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
- Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
- For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 5/18/15 – 7/31/15.
Be sure to visit the Replens brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ posts!
Oh wow – sense of humor – hmmmm……….I think it’s kind of a dark “what is going to fall/collapse/implode next” kind of humor! And the fact that it’s all so unpredictable – might as well laugh instead of cry! 🙂
I’m trying to laugh. It’s hard sometimes with the serial killer mood swings. LOL!
My tweet: https://twitter.com/biggreenpen/status/600288574202900481 🙂
I think I have had the same pre-flashes that you have had and quite frankly that scares the heck out of me because I find them hard enough to deal with. Oh what good times lie ahead!! Lol! Thanks for an informative post!
Such a funny little clip. So awesome that you were included in this piece. I am not at that stage just yet, but every time I have anything wrong with me, my mother thinks I’m going into menopause. When I finally enter menopause, she’ll probably blame it on other things. I gladly tweeted! https://twitter.com/hiyacynthia/status/600340627029528576
Keeping close my friends who are going through this, so I know that I’m not alone.
And an air conditioner in every room!!
Aging is inevitable. I take vitamins and try to stay healthy. It’s good to keep your sense of humor intact.
tweet–https://twitter.com/mami2jcn/status/600358782162579456
You gotta laugh, right?! Getting older is a blessing, because we all know what the alternative is. Flashing should be considered a badge of honor!!
My tweety! https://twitter.com/mommypowers/status/600367581019525121
Make sure to laugh at yourself.. you’re not the only one going through it.
tweet https://twitter.com/groogruxking40/status/600373916452847618
I make sure to do something fun every day, by watching a funny movie, and being active. I play with my dog and he makes me laugh, and I spend time with my son and daughter, and they have a good sense of humor that keeps me upbeat!
Tweet entry
https://twitter.com/JewelWood/status/600377010557353984
I try to stay positive and remember that aging is a part of life
I just don’t get why that part of life has to mean growing whiskers. Isn’t 40 years of menstruating enough?
https://twitter.com/ElenaIstomina/status/600392809514864640
tweeted
https://twitter.com/rubylorikeet/status/600394178455965696
Parri, so enjoyed chatting with you!
Me too!
This is so funny and so very true. My advice is you gotta smile while you are hurting and whistle while you work it! Everyone is going to get this stage and you only live once- so laugh! More importantly, laugh at yourself. You will appreciate it later! 🙂 xo
I tweeted ! https://twitter.com/mmstarla/status/600399201940295680
I have to laugh about the changes or I’ll cry. I try to take vitamins and keep active to help.
I keep my sense of humor as I get older by talking to my girlfriends about how things all start to really change at the same time.
I keep a sense of humor by remembering that I am not alone and taking good care of myself.
tweet
https://twitter.com/Kellydpa/status/600415122159370241
My friends and I love to send funny cards about aging to each other! We try to keep active and not let aging stop us!
I love that you guys do that for each other. There’s no way to get through this without a sense of humor!
https://twitter.com/yarbr012/status/600463021333352450
I am post-menopausal (full hysterectomy at 40) and I can tell you that hot flashes are exactly as described at your conversation. It feels like a blast furnace in the center of your chest. I never knew how hot I could get! And night sweats are awful…I’d wake up soaking wet. And then freeze because I was all wet. Cutting back on sugar (in particular chocolate) really helped a lot. Enjoy the ride…the alternative isn’t that great!
Thanks for the sugar tip. I must say, though, it can’t be easy to get through a difficult time without chocolate!
Like you, I felt like I was going through menopause since puberty. Crazy hormones! When my doctor told me I had actually gone to the other side …post-menopause…I was like, “What?” He said I had the highest FSH he had ever seen and I never really even knew it happened. I guess all of those years of sweating and mood swings finally paid off!
OMG, I hope I follow in your footsteps!!!
I guess i shop more to keep a positive state of mind
https://twitter.com/LuLu_Brown24/status/600640751588933632
Hmm good question, probably my silly husband and just making jokes. Getting older sucks for sure but you HAVE to keep your sense of humor about it !:)
tweet
https://twitter.com/MeandBells/status/600659018915270656
I’m 53 and I am done with menopause. The hardest part for me, I think, was saying goodbye to my last, dusty egg!
!!!
I said I was done with menopause, but it’s not done with me! I’ve got one word for you: dyspareunia. So much for not needing birth control. Haven’t I served my time?!
With a dampened brow and a sweaty fist pumped in the air in solidarity, I flash along with you. My husband asked me this morning, “So, how long does this menopause thing last? Two years?”
Oy and vey.
https://twitter.com/modmomelleroy/status/601038981833199616
My amazing metabolism isn’t so amazing anymore, and my stomach is “puffy” after two kids. But I keep a sense of humor because of them, too! 🙂
chambanachik(at)gmail(dot)com
The ” I told you so” conversation with my mother helps me keep a sense of humor when dealing with changes as I get older.
tcarolinep at gmail dot com
-https://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/601581458453504000
I keep a sense of humor all the time, and laugh things off, no need worrying cause it just causes more stress.
Tweet posted: https://twitter.com/lil_lady_dz/status/601859897500704768
I keep my sense of humor by talking about the changes with friends.
Tweet: https://twitter.com/PrettyHotPink6/status/602504275021836288
I really just joke about it! I don’t like it get me down, yet.
Tweeted to share promo https://twitter.com/MomOF2Boysz/status/603989895154180096
I keep a sense of humor by connecting with other women who are in the same boat as me!
Tweet link: https://twitter.com/shala_darkstone/status/604090469941817344
madelinebrubaker {at} gmail [dot] com
https://twitter.com/OneFrugalGirl/status/605846318993448961
Long time girl friends who are all stuck in the same boat with me 🙂
Keeping a personal fan handy really helps. Also use Ban cooling cloths.
All you can do is embrace the change and be thankful you’re getting to experience it!
Hi Parri-
I love your sense of humor! This was a very informative discussion, although brief, but I loved that everyone could feel comfortable voicing their concerns to Dr. Minkin, who put you all (and us viewers) at ease with her frankness.
Having just gone through “the change” myself and having many of the concerns voiced in the video, I am very glad to see some options for dealing with this.
Hang in there!
Paula
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. The discussion was actually an hour, and I never laughed so much while learning so much! I don’t know how they even edited it down to 8 minutes, because it was such a great discussion. I’m so glad you got something out of it! Thanks for reading!
I guess hanging out with my funny and delightful friends helps me a lot in keeping a sense of humor when dealing with changes as I get older! Good to have a support group and girlfriends that understand.
amy [at] utry [dot] it
tweeted:
https://twitter.com/uTry_it/status/607433314287288320
amy [at] utry [dot] it
Staying positive and having family and friends around that enjoy life help me keep a good sense of humor.
I just make jokes about the changes and hope others find it all funnier than I do.
My family help me keep a sense of humor, I feel so blessed to share each day with them.
tweeted
https://twitter.com/mummytotwoboys1/status/608318190091956225
I really like the bold contrast of the Marrakech Comforter set.
sazzyfrazz at gmail dot com
Tweet: https://twitter.com/sazzyfrazzy/status/610191117649211392
sazzyfrazz at gmail dot com
I try to have good adjustment or coping skills — making lemonade out of lemons.
What else can you do besides laugh maybe cry
https://twitter.com/mkjmc/status/615125112916942848
talking about other women that have been through it
https://twitter.com/sweetums82/status/617860550035292162
I am so fortunate to have a fine group of friends and we laugh together about the inevitable. They say misery loves company and it’s true!
Tweet
https://twitter.com/clc408/status/619206136160473088
I try not to take myself too seriously. That helps!
tweet
https://twitter.com/MelindaJoy926/status/619562540020969473
Staying positive and having family and friends around that enjoy life and make me laugh helps me keep a good sense of humor
https://twitter.com/susan1215/status/620018039396896768
I keep my sense of humor by staying humble, and swapping stories with friends.
Thanks for the chance to win!
wildorchid985 AT gmail DOT com
tweet–https://twitter.com/WildOrchid985/status/620408751124824064
I share funny stories about the change of life with my friends of the same age group.
My ironic outlook never fails me. I have a sort of “well, of course it would be that, how could it not be” attitude about every avalanche, near miss and genuine deep six.
My ironic outlook never fails me. I have a sort of well, of course it would be that, how could it not be attitude about every avalanche, near miss and genuine deep six.
I posted a tweet too: https://twitter.com/AnnaZed/status/622237091393441792
I try to take it one day at a time.
What helps me is to discuss with my friends that can relate…we all just laugh together since we are all in the same boat!
tweeted: https://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/622934845518430208
My mentality that it is not the end of the world and everyone gets older eventually.
I keep a regular appointment with friends to have burritos and margaritas, as wells as lots of laughs about life. I always head home feeling better.
How do I keep my sense of humor?? Well… sometimes I don’t! lol but really, the same way I keep my sense of humor about anything. I just roll with it and remind myself that there isn’t anything I can do to stop it so I better just make the best of it! Besides, everything is better when you have a sense of humor 🙂
Tweeted 🙂 – https://twitter.com/Enter_Now/status/623821388873252864
glad I am done flashing I started early and did it for years
I just roll with the punches and always maintain happiness. Just gotta laugh things off!
Laughter keeps me healthy. I survive by seeing the humor in everything. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious
https://twitter.com/Attea2d/status/623854179321311233
Realizing that I am growing wiser as I get older helps me keep a sense of humor.
I laugh a lot, I’m frequently silly.
My family helps me keep a sense of humor. Between my kids, husband and other family, they often get me to laugh.
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/peg42/status/623894073548648448
Thanks again
I am living the healthiest way I can and accepting what I have to about change!
trying to take aging in stride, but some things are hard like the topic above. That part of aging sucks! I’m using a topical hormone to help, but honestly, haven’t figured out how to laugh about it yet.
tvollowitz at aol dot com
Make sure to laugh at yourself.
austma7@aol.com
It helps that I’ve always had a good sense of humor.
Watching my self talk is a huge help.
thank you
Tweet https://twitter.com/JalapenoMama/status/623992078981160960
I just try not to worry about it. There’s nothing I can do to stop so I just go with the flow. Thank you!
It’s hard to keep a sense of humor when the problems get rough but my husband always makes me laugh. If he compliments me I blame it on his failing eyesight.
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/rosannepm/status/624071901774782465
I try to eat healthy and exercise and put some humor into each day.
My friends and I share war stories. Meno has NOT been kind to me.
What helps me keep my sense of humor as I grow older? I don’t understand the question. Perhaps it’s being naturally optomistic?
I joke about it with friends who are my age.
My kids help me keep my sence of humor.
My moms hilarious stories about when she went through the change. LOL she’s so funny and embraces the lighter side of things to make it easier.
https://twitter.com/Stephanie64030/status/625490465601617920
Since aging is inevitable, with dying the only alternative, you can either laugh or cry. i choose to laugh.
Wise words!
tweeted
https://twitter.com/eswright18/status/625527315791884288
what helps me keep my humor with aging is that i have no choice!
You have to have a sense of humor when dealing with the changes of getting older or you might as well not live at all. It is imperative to not take it all too hard.
I publicly Tweeted this giveaway: https://twitter.com/versatileer/status/625894221984215044
I constantly laugh at things that usually would stress me out
https://twitter.com/eliza_elliott/status/626028022550757376
I try to keep a sense of humor about it by not taking things too seriously
https://mobile.twitter.com/heidiho5152/status/626117428359991296
I talk/joke about it with my mom and friends. Humor helps us get through it all!
https://mobile.twitter.com/shiebs24b/status/626221938155720704
its better to laugh than cry!!!
i posted a tweet here:
https://twitter.com/bellows22/status/626227304377651200
I think just knowing that that it’s only down hill from here, you might as well enjoy what you’ve got now and embrace the change.
I just go for it, why worry about it.
https://twitter.com/myfolly/status/626316156169752576
I try really hard to accept the changes. It’s a struggle for me though to be honest.
tweet
https://twitter.com/aes529/status/626424226493411328
What helps me keep a sense of humor is my husband he always makes me laugh even at the tough things!
I tweeted
https://twitter.com/my4boysand1/status/626457628357591048
Commiserating with aging friends always helps get a laugh out of our aging issues.
I try to laugh about it and say it is just making my wise
https://twitter.com/eaglesforjack/status/626469201197174785
Just embracing things and making jokes.
laughter is the best medicine
I keep laughing and smiling with a good attitude
My husband and I are very good at laughing at ourselves, and each other!
The #1 thing that helps me keep my sense of humor is my partner. Every time I complain about something age related, he will either make a joke about me being vain or say that he loves every wrinkle and sag. 😀
Wow! What a special man!
I tweeted here: https://twitter.com/MsTofuFairy/status/626753685746491392
My supernumary nipple helps!
I’m only 42. In some ways I look forward to not having to worry about having a period again but I’m not really anxious to have hot flashes neither.
I just remind myself that I’m lucky to have the privilege of getting older – might as well enjoy it!
I love your attitude!
you just gotta laugh
I love my live at 72 and feel there’s a lot more to come.
I LOVE that you feel that way. It gives me lots to look forward to at 52!
I look at my mom and she is aging beautifully as did her mother, so I can look forward to it more positive
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
tweet https://twitter.com/ChelleB36/status/626953233819389952
tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com
My family helps me keep a sense of humor.
tweeted
https://twitter.com/thomasmurphy40/status/626974100699893760
What helps me is me. I’ve always been realistic and understand this is a natural thing. As I am going through “the change”, I accept it and even have a sense of humor about it. To stress, feel old, or whatever negativities one may have will only make it worse.
I love your approach to life!
Reminding myself not to be so serious and that laughter is healthy helps me
I just keep telling myself that aging, even with hot flashes and mood swings, sure beats the alternative.
Tweet – https://twitter.com/willitara/status/627061624545898496
Part of life that we need to ask God about when we get to Heaven!
My sister and I swap stories and symptoms, it helps to have someone I can laugh with.
Having conversations with friends about aging helps me keep a perspective on it.
I make a joke about menopause symptoms. I tell people that if i get really desperate, i’d quit plucking my chin and join the sideshow as the bearded lady.
I love your sense of humor!
i love the play menopause is was so funny
Menopause the Musical? I’m dying to see that!
https://twitter.com/purplelover04/status/627180686802182144
https://twitter.com/BethMinyard/status/627212369731530752
My kids help me keep my sense of humor
tweeted https://twitter.com/iamdadtastic/status/627230542434426882
the fact that I’m in denial, you see… I’m only 29 and have been so for several years now.. so I don’t need to worry about these body changes & stuff.. nope, not yet
kc
kacor7@hotmail.com
And you shouldn’t! Enjoy every minute of your young life! You have a good 20 years or more until you have to worry about all this stuff!
my #SweepstakesEntry tweet:
https://twitter.com/thrincor/status/627242530216747008
KC
kacor7@hotmail.com
WHEN I THINK ABOUT HOW BAD MY MOM TOOK THE CHANGES AS SHE GOT OLDER, IT KEEPS ME SMILING AND I THINK ABOUT HOW BAD THEY REALLY AREN’T! =)
https://twitter.com/kytah00/status/627269992661188608
not there yet