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Her Royal Thighness’s Fast-Food Milkshake Taste Test

By Parri 36 Comments

A few weeks ago, we lost the guy who regularly stocks our vending machines at work. The new guy lined two rows of our beverage machine with Starbucks bottled frappuccinos. Unbeknownst to him, however, he let the machine charge only 60 cents for these beverages, which usually retail for between $3 and $4. When employees caught wind of the error, they cleaned out the machine in two minutes flat.

I was sitting at a lunch table the day this incident went down. Colleagues were scrambling for change to buy as many as they could, even filling their lunch totes with them and sticking them in the fridge for another day. One friend bought a few to take home to his wife, not even knowing if she liked them.

“Hmm,” the vending guy must have thought the next time he arrived to stock the machine. “These Starbucks bottled drinks are a big hit.”

So he refilled the slots again.

That’s when I thought. “These drinks are discounted about $3. I should buy one, too.” So I put 60 cents in the machine and scored a mocha frappucino. I put it in my lunch tote to take home and transfer to my fridge.

“Hey, whose Starbucks drink is this?” my husband asked, when he opened the fridge.

“I brought it home for anyone who wants it,” I said. “The vending machine was selling them for 60 cents and they usually sell for about $3.75.”

“But you don’t even drink coffee,” he said. “And you know I don’t drink iced coffee.”

“I know, but it was a good price,” I responded. “I figured somebody would drink it … a guest, maybe?”

“So let me get this straight,” Jim said. “You don’t even have to like something to buy it, if it’s a good price? Just the word ‘sale’ is enough for you? It’s about the thrill of the deal, not whether you even like or use the product?”

“Uhhh …”

“You have problems,” he said.

I do. I’ve written about this before … my problem with free stuff and my pledge to give it up … my backslide at a recent conference expo, where I came home with a suitcase full of Glade air fresheners and enough nail polish to stock a Vietnamese nail salon.

Jim’s right. I don’t drink coffee. I wake up with iced tea or diet soda. There aren’t a lot of beverages I like that are low in calories. So I mostly drink water with lemon.

So you’d think when Sonic approached me to taste test their milkshakes, I’d turn them down. I don’t drink milkshakes. I’ve never ordered one … not even at McDonald’s, as a kid.

First of all, as a Jewish girl, even though I’m not kosher, I was conditioned to never eat dairy with meat. We did not have milk with our meals growing up. We had water.

Second, I’ve always preferred to chew my calories, not drink them. I tried to make my family milkshakes years ago and you need about eight cows just to get one creamy glass full. I’d rather drink a Diet Dr. Pepper and have a cone.

But Sonic offered me a $10 gift card to their restaurant to try their shakes … and a $10 Visa to try competitor shakes. As a lover of all things free, how could I turn this down? My family drinks milkshakes. And it would be a great excuse to go to Sonic, where we love to occasionally splurge on foot long chili cheese dogs and chili cheese fries.

So even though I don’t drink milkshakes, I said yes. Because that’s what I do. I take free pens with the names of insurance companies. I take ugly canvas tote bags that say things like “Have a happy period.” Jim’s right: I have problems.

So one week ago, before driving my daughter to college, my family went out to see how Sonic stacked up against its fast food competitors … McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King. We did not taste test at sit down restaurants, like Steak ‘n Shake  … only fast food joints. And this is what we found:

 Variety

Taste-testing at Sonic

Taste-testing at Sonic

Sonic’s selection is so overwhelming, we couldn’t decide which shakes to order. When it comes to selection, Sonic wins, hands down. Wendy’s Frosty™ McDonald’s McCafé and Burger King’s Hand Spun Shakes come in the standard vanilla, chocolate and strawberry flavors. Burger King, however, has added an Oreo shake to its menu.

Sonic’s selection far surpasses its competitors, with 25 flavors, including peanut butter, pineapple, hot fudge, cookie dough, Oreo caramel, Oreo peanut butter, peanut butter fudge, salted caramel, caramel pie, chocolate hazelnut, even coconut cream pie. There were so many to choose from, we didn’t know what to order. We decided on the Oreo peanut butter, the salted caramel, the coconut cream pie and a standard vanilla. But there were only three of us, you say? Hey, we had $10. Sonic practically twisted our arms.

Presentation

Sonic’s and McDonalds both win for presentation. All of the shakes came with whipped cream and a cherry. Sonic went one step further with my coconut cream pie shake, adding a sprinkling of graham cracker dust to add to the pie feeling and flavor.

Burger King’s shakes came with whipped cream only. And Wendy’s Frosty had no whipped cream or cherry. Note, also, that while every other fast food small-sized shake was 12 ounces, Wendy’s was 8.6 ounces.

Taste

To be fair, my husband, daughter and I decided to compare vanilla shakes only. And what we discovered was that, when you drink competitive shakes side-by-side, you can really taste the difference between brands. And Sonic’s, hands down, came out in first place. Trust me that I am not saying this, because Sonic paid for this venture. It was only $20, and I went into this planning to return the money, if I had nothing positive to say.

But Sonic’s shake was thick and creamy and had a rich flavor. It was sweet, without being too sweet. It tasted like real vanilla ice cream.

The next best shake was McDonalds, which had the perfect sweetness, but didn’t taste as authentic as Sonic’s. McDonald’s website says shakes are made with reduced-fat soft serve, which explains it. I have conditioned myself to be happy with reduced fat products over the years, but when taste tested against my husband’s “real” ice cream or chips, I’m always disappointed. Reduced-fat products have to stand alone. Otherwise, there’s no comparison.

Wendy’s shake tasted too sweet to me … and very artificial. My husband liked the sweetness at Wendy’s better than Sonic, but my family was in full agreement that Sonic’s shakes tasted more real.

Burger King’s shake was also creamy and had the right sweetness for me, though my husband wished it was sweeter. From my first spoonful of whipped cream, it also tasted really artificial. All three of us (on secret ballots) put Burger King’s shakes dead last.

“It tastes plasticy,” my husband noted, adding that it had a slight sourness to it, like cheesecake. My daughter described the taste as “too vanilla-y” and thought she detected a hint of banana. We all agreed that the flavor seemed really off.

Texture

Sonic’s shakes were so thick, our only complaint was it was tough to sip through a straw. We think the restaurant needs to use those smoothie straws … or serve the shake with a straw AND a spoon, like an ice cream parlor.

McDonald’s shake had a smooth consistency and was thick, but slightly thinner than Sonic’s, so it was easier to drink through a straw.

Wendy’s shakes were the thickest, and we couldn’t get it through the straw at all, without straining those same muscles you use to blow up a balloon. Fortunately, Wendy’s served our shake with a spoon and a straw.  I ended up using a spoon.

Burger King’s shake was thinner than the competitors, so you could sip it through the straw, but it was too thin. My teenager described it as creamy and light, but “soupy.” And we all agreed that , while it was smooth, it was too smooth.

“It’s a fake smooth,” my husband said, “like you’re ingesting silicone.”

So How Did Sonic Rank?

This was not even a contest. Sonic’s shakes tasted the most like real ice cream. That’s because they ARE made with real ice cream. They’re thick and creamy and boast rich flavors – like milkshakes you’d get in an ice cream shop.

McDonald’s was the next best. The shakes are made with reduced-fat vanilla with vanilla shake syrup, so the flavor wasn’t as rich when you taste test it against Sonic.

In my opinion, Wendy’s and Burger King shakes are to milkshakes what “orange drink” is to orange juice … not even close. Neither were worth the calories, in my book. And they both tasted synthetic.

 

Her Royal Thighness Fast-Food Milkshake Taste Test

Epilogue

After sampling Sonic’s vanilla shake, my daughter and I handed it off to my husband (not the most daring eater in the world). We then turned to our more exotic shakes. We loved our first few sips of the salted caramel, but after a few sips, we agreed it was too sweet. This shake is more suited to sharing, kind of like a dense chocolate torte … it becomes too much after a while.

Thighness at Sonic

Thighness enjoyed her first milkshake: a Sonic coconut cream shake that tasted just like pie!

We both loved the Oreo peanut butter shake. It was creamy with a rich chocolate-peanut butter flavor, but not overly sweet. My daughter claimed that one, leaving me with the coconut cream pie.

I took one sip and it did taste exactly like pie ― my favorite pie of all time! It was thick and well blended, with tiny flakes of coconut, giving it a slightly courser texture than the vanilla shake. I enjoyed the texture, because it made it feel less like a drink and more like ice cream. It was the first milkshake I’d ever had in my life, and I decided to postpone my diet one more day … because it was that good!

 

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Filed Under: Reviews and Recommendations

Comments

  1. Linda Roy says

    September 8, 2014 at 2:37 PM

    Sonic has great shakes, but girl…you missed Arby’s. Their jamocha shake rocks this world. Seriously. Oh, and Bobby’s Burger palace has the best, bar none. That said though, I want a Sonic shake. Like right.now. 😉 I love that you made a chart! And I would’ve been all over that vending machine, but I love coffee. However, I will buy things I don’t need because it’s a good price, and I’ll take free stuff I don’t need. I have enough plastic iced coffee tumblers to open my own Starbucks. Husbands don’t get it. Mine doesn’t either. I keep telling him, first rule of shopping is: Spend More – Save More. Am I right, or am I right? 😉

    Reply
  2. kathyradigan says

    September 8, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    I have never had a Sonic shake, I’m not sure they even have one where I live but now I want to go and find one!!! Whip cream? Cherries? Toppings? My, my!!!! By the way, you really had me laughing when you took the Starbucks drink. When I read that I thought to myself, gee, wasn’t she the one who had to search for a diet coke at BlogU because she didn’t drink coffee? Lol! I love you!! xoxo

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 8, 2014 at 4:12 PM

      It’s the thrill of the deal, my friend! And as far as the milkshake goes, I NEVER drink my calories. Thighness likes to chew! But how could I pass up a free milkshake? FREE! (and we could try twice as many, because after 8 PM during the month of August, Sonic’s shakes are HALF PRICE!!!

      Reply
      • Kathy Spring says

        September 9, 2014 at 10:45 AM

        Me too, unless we’re talking alcohol.

        Reply
        • Her Royal Thighness says

          September 9, 2014 at 3:28 PM

          One of the old diets I was on … Weight Watchers or L.A. Weight Loss let you count wine as a fruit! On Jenny Craig, it counts as a bread/carb. That’s a tough choice!!!

          Reply
  3. Michelle says

    September 8, 2014 at 3:26 PM

    Seriously, you couldn’t afford to NOT buy that starbuck’s drink….

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 8, 2014 at 4:11 PM

      Thank you, Michelle! My sentiments exactly. So what if it’s been in the fridge for three weeks!

      Reply
  4. Lisa R. Petty (@LisaRPetty) says

    September 8, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    Darn it, Parri. Now I want a shake!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 8, 2014 at 4:10 PM

      Go for the real deal. McDonalds isn’t worth it … less fat, less taste … and only 10 stinking calories less!

      Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 8:57 AM

      Spring for a real one! Not worth the calories if it’s a fake!

      Reply
  5. John H. says

    September 8, 2014 at 5:53 PM

    Taste is one thing. Now let’s have each of them analyzed! Do any of them actually have anything resembling dairy in them? Or anything not chemical, for that matter. Oh, love the photo- Jim has never looked happier!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 8:59 AM

      Sonic’s have dairy for sure, because they make them with scoops of real ice cream. There’s a lot of conflicting stuff about McDonald’s on the Web. Their site says reduced-fat soft serve, but a lot of those soft serve places make their ice cream with a mix. So who knows? All I know is if I am splurging on ice cream, I want the real thing!

      Reply
  6. Carol Cassara says

    September 8, 2014 at 7:25 PM

    Great review, i tweeted it. and paid attention!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 8:56 AM

      Thanks Carol! This was my first product review ever. I used to review plays and concerts for my newspaper, but products are a new frontier!

      Reply
  7. BeFancy! says

    September 8, 2014 at 8:01 PM

    Did anyone ever let the vending guy know that his drinks were priced wrong?

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 8, 2014 at 8:22 PM

      Okay, at the risk of everyone in the office being angry with me, yes, Christine. I did. My Papa showed me by example that when someone gives you too much change, you have to return it, because that person may have the loss taken out of their paycheck. The idea that this could happen to the poor vending guy made me feel terrible. When I ran into him while he was restocking the machine, I told him and he thanked me. I really do believe that the person you really are is the person you are when nobody is watching. I couldn’t NOT say anything!

      Reply
  8. ponymartini says

    September 8, 2014 at 9:47 PM

    How about mixing a vanilla shake with the Starbucks frappuccino? You might make millions from it!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 8, 2014 at 10:19 PM

      You want to be my business partner?

      Reply
      • ponymartini says

        September 9, 2014 at 8:34 AM

        Of course!

        Reply
  9. Laura says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:45 AM

    I have never seen a comparison chart for milkshakes! lol!! It is hard to beat the Coconut Cream Pie shake at Sonic. Yum! Although my husband is a devoted, die hard Steak and Shake Chocolate Malt man. What can you do?

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 8:53 AM

      My husband is also a Steak ‘n Shake fan, because there’s one a few blocks from our house. He’s a straight vanilla man. My daughter and I think that’s so boring. She likes any drink with candy in it … Butterfinger … Heath Bar … as if a milkshake isn’t fattening enough!

      Reply
  10. Mary says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:48 AM

    I too, came home with a ton of Glade Air Fresheners, although by the time I got to their booth on Saturday there was just the units without the cartridge…and I still took them! Great shake review!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 3:26 PM

      Thanks. I’m embarrassed to say that I got there at the end too. And after I got my air fresheners, I asked her if I could have two of the candles that were on display. What on earth is wrong with me???

      Reply
  11. Liz says

    September 9, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    This is a hilarious post! I am the same … I’m a huge coupon hoarder even when I know I will not be using them, lol. I’ve heard Sonic’s milkshakes are great, though.

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 9:10 PM

      I do the same thing!!! I hoard coupons and never use them. Once a year though, right before the holidays, I always take my stack of 50-75 Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons, buy some gifts for my daughter and distribute the bulk of coupons to everyone in line who doesn’t have one … because they never expire! It makes me feel like Santa, because of course no one ever has the coupon when they actually find themselves AT a Bed, Bath and Beyond! I like to share the love!

      Reply
  12. One Funny Motha says

    September 9, 2014 at 5:58 PM

    You did a chart? You did a freaking chart?!?!?!?!?! I think you deserve another $10 coupon for that. I really like how you took a scientific approach in evaluating fast-food milkshakes. But Idk what Jim’s problem is. Of course you don’t have to like something to buy it. IT WAS 60 CENTS!!! Does he understand the deal you were getting? You had to have it. P.S. Do you have a Smash Burger near you? Tasty!

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 9, 2014 at 9:07 PM

      No Smash Burger, but I just looked them up and I want that Spicy Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and those shoestring onions! Yum! And thank you, soul sistah, for understanding my need to buy a 60 cent frappuchino!

      Reply
  13. Crystal H says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:54 PM

    Tell your Husband that he is lucky that you only purchased one Starbucks drink. I would have bought as many as I can…and for the record, I don’t think I like them. I definitely don’t drink them. I am curious…is it still in your fridge??

    Sonic did not pay you near enough for this review. This comparison is awesome! I almost feel like I just read a case study. You have the graph and everything. Only this case study was entertaining! Kudos.

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 10, 2014 at 9:11 AM

      LOL. I would have purchased more, but I didn’t have any more change or dollar bills! And, yes, it’s still in the fridge. Maybe I should raffle it off!

      This was my first product review, so thanks for your kind words!

      Reply
  14. Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories)d says

    September 10, 2014 at 11:29 AM

    Now I want a Sonic milkshake! Great post!

    Reply
  15. Pattie says

    September 10, 2014 at 2:48 PM

    Parri, Parri, Parri, you crack me up. I have never had Sonic’s anything although there is one about 3 miles from my house. I know, what am I waiting for? Nothing now that you have done all this research for me! Since I don’t like McD’s or BK shakes I am glad that you don’t either. Wendy’s Frosty is OK in a pinch. Chick-Fil-A makes a mean shake and they are even closer to my house than Sonic. If I do a taste-ff between Chick-Fil-A and Sonic I will let you know the results.

    And I in complete agreement with you about ” the person you really are is the person you are when nobody is watching”. I am not surprised that you are the one who let the vending guy know the mistake. It is part and parcel of your awesome.

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 17, 2014 at 4:11 PM

      Thanks, Pattie! He’s taking good care of me in return (keeping the machine stocked with Diet Dr. Pepper)!

      Reply
  16. Dried-on Milk says

    September 17, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    Great. Now I want a milkshake. 🙂

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      September 17, 2014 at 4:08 PM

      Parri’s advice would be “DON’T do it!” Thighness’s advice would be “Go, enjoy!” I live a life of conflict!

      Reply
  17. The Dose of Reality says

    October 8, 2014 at 11:15 AM

    I knew when you included Sonic that it would be no contest. YUMMY!!

    I howled with laughter at your husband’s question because YES…if it’s a good deal how can I resist it even if I don’t want it myself? I think that was perfectly logical! How could anyone pass up discounted Starbucks on the principle alone? 😀 –Lisa

    Reply
    • Her Royal Thighness says

      October 8, 2014 at 12:18 PM

      Thank you for your support! My sentiments exactly. So from now on, when my husband questions me about an “unnecessary purchase,” I’ll answer with, “But Lisa said …” LOL! Glad you’re feeling better!

      Reply

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